Shattered. Broken. I don't want to do this again. Mixed feelings. The courage is gone. Thoughts of being hurt again. Remembering how great the pain was, yet it's like I'm loosing control of myself not knowing where the next step will take me from here. If only I could express the river of fear that runs deep within at times. Not being able to see around the bend, doubt creeps in leaving me petrified. But then comes your soft whisper, "only believe. All things are possible, have faith, just believe!"
Those of us that have been through the pain of a broken relationship, a broken marriage, a broken home, or a loss of that nature, often times find ourselves struggling to fit in and to find our true love in life again. I personally struggle greatly because, I know deep within that I made wrong decisions before and I just could not bear with the humiliation and the pain again.
I consciously make the effort to guard my heart. It's like building a wall to cage it in, simply because, I just cannot risk having a gaping wound all over again and having to deal with the rawness of my flesh for days, weeks, months and even years. The red flags of my past shows up and I go into protective mode. Dear God, I openly admit that I need your help.
But how do you believe again when you've been broken? Where is courage to find your true love again, when doubt and fear just won't seem to leave you?
Then the Lord said unto me, "Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the Lord protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good." (Psalm 127:1)
All of us do make mistakes in our lives. They are not limited to a chosen few so you and I must be willing to surrender our will to God completely and allow Him to build the structure of a secure, lifelong relationship starting from the foundation up. We must be willing to go through the ground breaking and the evacuation process. We need Him to help us clean up the mess that we made in the past. We need to go to Him for guidance and direction.
We need Him to help us repair parts of our heart, soul, and mind that even the best heart surgeon could not fix. We need Him to guide us to the person who will love you in spite of your past weaknesses and insecurities. With God's guidance and instructions, you and I can build stronger, lasting relationships. First we need God's involvement to build the foundation of our relation to include 'walls and the roof' that gives us the stability, security and the serenity that we so desire.
"Whosoever cometh to me, and heareth my sayings, and doeth them, I will shew you to whom he is like: He is like a man which built an house, and digged deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock."(Luke 6:47-48)
We need God's involvement to guard and protect the house - from attacks from without and attacks from within. We have an adversary who hates relationships, marriages, homes and families. He will do anything and everything to destroy the foundation and the fabric of our society. But be ready at all times to stand on and abide in the word of God which is truth.
At all times, in all seasons, through discouragements and even disagreements, allow yourself to wait it out on God. The Psalmist David tells us how. "My soul waits in silence for God only; from Him is my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken."
That tells us, no matter how hard we try, we cannot do it on our own. All the riches in the world, all the money one may have, cannot buy true love. Love is more than just a feeling. It is a choice and a action. There will definitely be times that are challenging and times when you do not feel like you love the other person, but that is for a season. Courage to find your true love again comes when you determine in your heart to place all our confidence and trust in God.